


I just came to say goodbye

by CustardCreamies



Series: Racing incidents [6]
Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, Belgium GP 2016, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 14:25:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7896100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CustardCreamies/pseuds/CustardCreamies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kimi doesn't want to talk to Sebastian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I just came to say goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> So just a little one-shot after today's race.

It's just like the last time.

Sebastian comes running over to Kimi, his movements frantic and filled with worry. He reaches Kimi's side and gently touches his shoulder. Kimi is thankful he's still got his helmet on because otherwise the entire crowd would see how very displeased he was at the touch. He wants to shake Sebastian off of him and turn his back. But he can't. The press would have a field day if he did that.

So he keeps walking past Parc Ferme with Sebastian hovering around him like an anxious hummingbird.

Once Kimi's been weighed, he quickly walks back to the Ferrari garage. His helmet is still on. He walks up to Maurizio and holds up his hand. _Not now. Do not reprimand me now_ Kimi thinks to himself as he sees the look in Maurizio's eyes. Maurizio seems to understand though and gives him a quick nod. Maurizio will have to talk to him, but he can do it later, so Kimi makes his way quickly into the back of the garage.

Sebastian is about to follow Kimi but Maurizio stops him. It's a firm gentle hand on his shoulder telling Sebastian to stop, to give Kimi time. But Sebastian can't wait. He needs to talk to Kimi, but Maurizio is shaking his head at him.

"No Sebastian, give him time" Maurizio tells Sebastian gently "anyway I need to talk to you"

So Sebastian resigns himself to talk to Kimi later, and keeps his eyes on Kimi as he walks away without turning back.

* * *

Kimi is in his motorhome. He's already stripped out of his racing gear and he's back in his t-shirt and jeans. He's sat on the chair in the room and he has his eyes closed. He needs to think, to breathe, for just a few minutes.

It's not the first time that Sebastian has ruined a race for Kimi, although that time wasn't his fault. Sebastian is a good racer, it's just his pride leads to him being reckless and today his reckless nature cost Kimi a podium result. The thing with Max doesn't help either and he knows the young driver is already spitting poison about him throughout the press interviews. It wasn't Kimi's fault that he hit Max. He had been caught in the crossfire of Sebastian's reckless move. Now he'd have to deal with the fallout.

The idea gives him a headache.

A gentle knocking at his door rouses him from his thoughts. He blinks and looks at the door, who would want to talk to him now?

The knocking continues and Kimi tries to shut it out, hoping if he ignores the sound the person behind the door would get the hint.

Unfortunately, this isn't to be the case as the knocking continues and gets louder. Kimi sighs and decides he has to open the door or it will never stop.

So he gets up and walks to the door, all but throwing it open. On the other side of the door stands Sebastian, who is blinking in surprise by how fast the door had opened.

Kimi is really tempted to slam it back into Sebastian's face, but the look in Sebastian's eyes makes him reconsider. So wordlessly he opens the door wider and lets Sebastian in.

Kimi returns to his chair and Sebastian sits on the bed in the corner. Neither talk for a few minutes but then Sebastian gently says "I'm sorry"

Kimi holds his hand up "No, don't say that" his voice sounds as tired as he feels.

"But I am" Sebastian replies "truly, I didn't mean-"

"Well it happened, Seb. Okay? Apologies mean nothing"  Kimi cuts him off "my race was ruined"

"So was mine" Sebastian retorts "or did you forget about that? We're a team, Kimi"

"A team doesn't ruin each others races, a team knows to watch each other's back" Kimi looks at Sebastian "or are we the new Nico and Lewis?"

"Please don't say that" Sebastian whispers, panic in his eyes. It's his worse fear, that they'd be torn apart like Lewis and Nico.

Kimi sees the fear in Sebastian's eyes and he closes his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired of everything. He doesn't really want to fight with Sebastian now "I'm sorry...I didn't mean that"

"I bet you did" Sebastian replies "if you didn't mean it, why say it?"

"I'm...I'm just tired Seb. So tired of the shitty car, the pressure in the team. Everything"

"Like I'm not feeling it too? The whole team is stressed, Kimi. But I thought we were strong enough to beat it?"

"I guess we aren't" Kimi looks at Sebastian. He doesn't know what possesses him to say the next few words, but he says them without thinking "maybe we should take a break"

"A break from what? From us?" Sebastian asks, eyes widening.

Kimi nods "yeah, lets just take time out. Re-evaluate what we want" his throat feels tight as he says the words, but this had been on his mind for some time now. It's just now he's been brave enough to say them.

"No" Sebastian says weakly "you know what I want. You. That hasn't changed. Please don't say one race has changed us"

"It's not just the race, Seb. It's everything. I mean, look where we are. The team is in chaos, we haven't had a podium in months-"

"That has nothing to do with what's between us" Sebastian interrupts, his eyes hard and angry.

"It has everything to do with us" Kimi almost yells "we are not pushing each other hard enough, we are not fighting like teammates should because we are letting our personal feelings get in the way of our goals"

Sebastian shakes his head "no, you're wrong. We are stronger together, don't you see that?"

"Not anymore" Kimi doesn't look Sebastian in the eyes.

"You don't really mean that?" Sebastian whispers, his face pale "Kimi look at me"

Kimi does, and Sebastian looks small and defeated. Like Kimi has just broken him.

"You don't really mean this? I...I love you" Sebastian's voice breaks and tears spring into his eyes.

Kimi almost looks away. He's always hated seeing Sebastian cry. But he can't help him now, there is no comfort for what he has to do to Sebastian.

When Kimi doesn't say anything, Sebastian visibly looks shaken and a vulnerable look enters his eyes "forget it, I clearly do not matter to you" he looks Kimi dead in the eye and chokes out "you mattered so much to me"

Kimi's chest feels terribly tight and suddenly he wants to take back the biting words he had spoken, to tell Sebastian he never meant them. To kiss Sebastian over and over again until his tears dry up and he doesn't look like Kimi has torn his heart out of his chest and punctured it like a Pirelli tyre.

But before Kimi can do anything, Sebastian gives Kimi a tight smile and tells him "I hope you're happy alone" and then he gets up from the bed and turns and walks out of the motorhome, trying to hide his tears.

Kimi stands up as if to chase after him, but he finds himself just standing there watching Sebastian leave and wondering what he has done in the heat of the moment.

Has he just lost Sebastian?

Kimi returns to his seat slowly and closes his eyes, a lone tear falls down his face.  

 

  

* * *

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment/Kudo if you enjoyed.


End file.
